Sir Kim Darroch, recently departed UK ambassador to US, had more to say about President Trump than originally reported; meanwhile more ambassadors in US are “phoning home” to comment on his flagrantly racist remarks, inept policies, corrupt administration and fights with “The Squad.” Rueters has their honest observations…and more.

July 18, 2019

By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, Kicked Off the Road with Jack Kerouac

WASHINGTON (Rueters) — Former UK Ambassador to the US Kim Darroch may have been the first diplomat to see his uncomplimentary comments about President Trump and the administration leaked to the press. But he is by no means alone in his derisive views, Rueters has learned.

In fact, Darroch’s published comments about an “inept” and “insecure” president with “dodgy Russian” connections weren’t the worst of it, according to additional transcripts provided Rueters of the ambassador’s communications with official London.

“That buggering fuckwit,” Darroch wrote to Prime Minister Theresa May in one memorable screed in 2018. “He’s completely dropped a bollock on his so-called immigration policy. No one knows what he’s trying to do, including him. It’s a fucking shit storm that will only get worse — for everyone.”

Darroch, a career diplomat, was regularly harsh in his assessments of the Orange Menace, foreign ministry sources in London told Rueters. But an investigation by Rueters has found ambassadors throughout Washington have similar impressions of the president, his policies and now even his self-provoked fight with four female US House reps, all women of color, calling themselves “The Squad.”

L to R: US Reps Rashida Tlaib (D-MI), Ayanna Pressley (D-MA), Ilhan Omar (D-MN), Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), “The Squad” (Photo by Rueters)

“The President is telling his constituents these four congresswomen should go back to their horrible native lands,” one African Union executive told his leaders in a recent memo. “But where should they go? ‘Shitholes’ like Cincinnati, Detroit, the Bronx? Only one came from outside the US, but all are US citizens. What kind of president says that to fellow citizens, much less elected members of Congress?”

The wrong kind of president, according to emails, texts and tweets from DC-based ambassadors to their home offices, Rueters has seen.

Norwegian Ambassador to the US Kåre Aas in secret memos sent to foreign ministry officials in Oslo earlier this year variously described Trump and his closest advisers as lutefisk, a gelatinous and smelly fish dish, as well as pickled herring.

Norwegian holiday favorite: Lutefisk

“Trump and his despicable team are like our holiday foods. Dealing with them once a year is more than enough and it doesn’t take long before the smell of them all starts to get to you,” Aas wrote in a March 2019 foreign ministry paper provided Rueters.

German Ambassador to the US Emily Haber was even harsher in her privately written judgments, based on several memos given to Rueters by an embassy source.

Haber, whose boss Angela Merkel has a notoriously difficult relationship with Trump, reported her official Washington duties haven’t gone any more smoothly for her than for Merkel.

Germany’s ambassador to the US, Emily Haber

“Trump is Ein fettes ekelhaftes Schwein, das meinen Arsch packte und versuchte, mein Ohr zu lecken,” roughly translated means “a fat disgusting pig who grabbed my ass and tried to lick my ear.”

“How can Americans NOT believe all the dozens of women who have said the same thing about the Schwein-in-Chef,” the new ambassador noted in an official memo in June 2017, some months after her initial encounter with the Orange Menace. “If he says I’m not his type, that’s total bullscheisse. I’ve got a pulse and a vagina, that makes me his type,” she reported to Berlin.

China’s ambassador to the US, Cui Tiankai, who recently took to Twitter, has told numerous colleagues representing Asian nations Trump’s MAGA mantra was no more than a “Whites First” creed to be enforced at the expense of all others.

“Latin Americans are at the bottom of the Trump ladder,” Cui wrote to Beijing in September 2018. “Personally, I thought it would be blacks or Muslims, but he knows he can’t ship them back to Africa. Based on my talks with him, he says he can at least identify the poor and the weak, the ones with no leverage, and keep pushing them away.”

Cui Tiankai, China’s ambassador to the US

More recently, Cui compared Trump favorably to his own president, Xi Jinping, who has established concentration camps for Muslims in the province of Xinjiang, a vast region bordering central Asia that is home to millions of Uighurs and other Muslim ethnic minorities.

“Trump really gets it. Look at what he’s implementing on the US southern border, concentration camps,” Cui reported in an April 2019 paper. “Only, of course, we prefer to call ours vocational education facilities.”

And then there’s Joe Hockey — yes, his real name — Australian ambassador to the US. Appointed in early 2016, Hockey had a year to deal with President Barack Obama’s administration before witnessing the transition to No. 45 and his team of “actings.”

Joe Hockey, Australian ambassador to the US

“No question Trump has a few roos loose in the top paddock,” Hockey wrote to his foreign minister about three months into the new US administration, a copy (and translation) of which was slipped to Rueters. “He’s making pronouncements that seem fair dinkum but clearly are furphy.”

Trump has peopled his Cabinet and other senior posts with “drongos who carry on every day like pork chops.” Rough translation: Idiots who are acting crazy.

Trump in the past two and a half years hasn’t improved in temperament (“he’s cracking the shits everyday,” per Hockey), nor has he managed to solve any serious challenges to the US. “And now he’s spitting the dummy with those four congresswomen, ‘The Squad,'” Hockey reported to his superiors last week.

“We’ll keep at our jobs, all of us at the embassy, despite Trump,” he concluded. “We’re not here to fuck spiders.”


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