February 8, 2023

By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, Taught Marjorie Taylor Greene How to Heckle POTUS

“Democracy Dies in Darkness…and It’s in Some Trouble Already in the GOP House”

VAIL, Colo. (Rueters) – China President and Chief Meteorologist Xi Jinping has elaborated on his apology to the United States for what he called “an innocent overpass by a harmless balloon on a goodwill mission above and across North America” last week.

In an exclusive interview with Rueters at his Frank Lloyd Wright-designed ski chalet in this popular winter resort overlooking the spot where thousands of Chinese laborers lost their lives building the Central Pacific Railroad, Xi insisted Americans were overreacting to the wandering path of his now-infamous “weather” balloon.

The 69-year-old Xi, who learned the Queen’s English while working as a spy in Hong Kong early in his career as a Communist apparatchik, told Rueters, “The real problem is that you bloody Americans only could see one side of what you’re calling a spy balloon. If you saw what the Canadians saw — on the opposite side — you would have understood the whole thing was a combined research and goodwill mission.”

China Chief Meteorologist Xi Jinping insists Americans were only seeing “part of the story” of the so-called spy balloon when in fact, he claimed, “the whole mission was meant to be friendly.” At right Xi can be seen waving to Canadians from the other side of the balloon. “You see, you don’t hear the Canadians complaining. They liked me,” Xi insisted. (Photos by Fuzzy Koppelman Images)

Xi faces mounting criticism from US politicians of both parties as well as deep suspicions among military and civilian leadership in the Pentagon. “Weather balloons float along the jet stream or other prevailing winds,” a Pentagon spokesman told reporters last week. “They don’t fly south against the wind, then hang a left over Nebraska before transiting east. This thing was under the control of the Chinese.”

By way of explanation, Xi told Rueters a “secret recipe” of mixed gases in the balloon directed it onto different paths regardless of the prevailing winds. He called it “sheer coincidence” that the balloon drifted some 60,000 feet above America’s main location of ICBM installations as well as hanging above an Air Force base that’s home to the nation’s stealth-bomber fleet. “We didn’t care about any of that. We just wanted to know if there would be snow in Vail and how our winter wheat was looking.”

Unknown to most Americans, both Chinese and Russian commercial interests are buying up huge tracts of American farmland, often located near major US military installations. Xi brushed off the notion of spying. “Coincidence,” he said.

As for the fate of the Chinese balloon itself — spy or weather or both — Xi said he felt insulted by the method the military chose to end its peripatetic journey. “That was our balloon. We want it back, especially the little electronic bits,” he said.

Crowds gather Feb 4, 2023, along the North Carolina coast to view “the other side” of the alleged Chinese spy balloon. Moments later, from the South Carolina beaches, a Sidewinder missile fired by an F-22 fighter jet can be seen hitting its mark. “That was quite the insult,” Xi complained. (Photos by Fuzzy Koppelman Images)


NEW YORK (Rueters) – Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg is dusting off an old case and has convened a grand jury to look into the infamous charge of porn star Stormy Daniels being paid $130,000 by Donald Trump to keep quiet about their alleged 2006 affair in the weeks before he captured the presidency. But now he may have irrefutable evidence of the affair and criminal coverup.

Trump’s one-time “fixer,” Michael Cohen, in 2018 was sentenced to three years in federal prison and ordered to pay a $50,000 fine after pleading guilty to tax evasion and campaign-finance violations. During his term in prison, Cohen appeared before the US House Oversight Committee to testify against then-President Trump, telling lawmakers he paid hush money to Daniels on the personal orders of Trump who did not want a last-minute scandal damaging his chances of defeating former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in the presidential election. That, and he didn’t want Melania finding out, either.

Orange Menace, Stormy Daniels in happier times. (Photo courtesy Hustler magazine)

Cohen was reimbursed by the Trump Organization for the payment to Daniels (real name Stephanie Clifford), plus an extra $300,000 as a “bonus,” he testified, then showed the committee a copy of a check made out to him as part of his reimbursement, a check signed by Donald Trump personally.

Cohen last week appeared before the new Manhattan grand jury and, in a surprise move, provided prosecutors from Bragg’s office what could be the “smoking gun” in their potential fraud case against the Orange Menace: An October 2016 invoice detailing what services were provided the real estate mogul and reality television star by the popular and versatile then-27-year-old porn actress during their one-night fling at a Los Angeles hotel.

The invoice, issued by Daniels’ San Francisco company, S Daniels Enterprises, lists seven specific services she provided Trump during their heated encounter. “And it’s pretty comprehensive,” a source in Bragg’s office told Rueters. “We can guess at what some of the services were but she’ll probably have to take us through the list. That should be educational.”

Once decrypted, the six-year-old invoice, which lists “DJT” (the former president’s initials) as the customer, will be formally presented to the grand jury for consideration along with witness statements, under oath, from Cohen, Daniels and potentially longtime Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg, currently serving a five-month term at New York’s notorious Rikers Island prison for tax fraud.

Below: Stormy Daniels’ invoice submitted to Trump attorney Cohen who later lied to Congress about the hush money before having a chance to think over how he’d been screwed by No. 45, then sang a very different tune to Congress. Cohen told Rueters he thinks Trump won’t be able to escape justice this time. “He’ll finally be accountable for the first time in his life.” But was Daniels really worth $130,000?


Embattled US House Rep. George Santos (R-NY) contemplates Feb 7th how to dispose of fellow Republican Sen. Mitch Romney’s body after heated exchange before Biden’s State of the Union address. (Rueters photo)

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One Comment

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  1. Michael Paul Ringwood February 9, 2023 — 8:35 am

    Excellent observations and commentary, as usual. Looking forward to what will come next.

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