Hey, America! Enough of No. 45’s “Bullshitting with Bob”; Now Read Our Transcripts

September 10, 2020

By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, Two Proud Members

“Democracy Dies In Darkness…Bring Your Flashlights to the Voting Booth”

WASHINGTON (Rueters) — While America digests President Trump’s lies about the Coronavirus — as revealed in taped recordings with Bob Woodward of The Washington Post — Rueters quietly has acquired transcripts of nearly 30 additional hours of conversations between the two.

If these don’t raise the hairs on the back of your neck, check your pulse for signs of life.

The transcripts provided to Rueters earlier this week by an anonymous source cover a variety of topics not previously broadcast on national news programs.

They include discussions of Trump’s past illegal business dealings, his illegal use of money contributed to the now-defunct Trump Foundation, scamming students at the now-defunct Trump University, illegal “emoluments” from foreign nationals using his hotels, extra-marital affairs, illegitimate children, romping with hookers around the bugged Moscow Marriott presidential suite, molesting women, cheating at golf, strokes (not the golf kind), and pretty much everything spelled out in the Steele Dossier.

“It’s all true,” the Orange Menace is recorded telling Woodward in December 2018, just weeks before his second anniversary in office. “The whole collection of stories that British agent (Christopher Steele) provided the FBI is true. I never thought I’d get elected when that shitstorm hit. Same as when the ‘Access Hollywood’ tape began to air. But America was desperate to have me, no matter what.”

So, what is America desperate for today?

Following is a sample transcript from a far-ranging conversation between the Orange Menace and Watergate Bob recorded in late 2018. It has been edited for clarity because the guy can’t put six words together in a coherent sentence.


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