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It was only matter of time before renowned civil servant and new cultural icon, Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, director of National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, would upstage Orange Menace with knowledge of coronavirus and speaking truth to power. So, it was only matter of time before No. 45 spotted rival to be “fired,” as he did so often in TV-land. But Fauci is beating Trump to the punch. Our investigative team, dynamic duo of Squibley and Bushwhacker, has gotten hold of first draft of Fauci’s letter of resignation in which he lays out in stark detail reasons he’s leaving his post and why the country is well and truly fucked.

May 17, 2020

By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, First with Symptoms of “Covid Johnson”

“Democracy Dies in Darkness”…Try the New Cologne from Chez Bezos

WASHINGTON (Rueters) — Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, widely popular but controversial director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), has prepared a lengthy, detailed letter of resignation to President Trump, laying out his reasons for bailing on the administration.

“Your ship is sinking,” Fauci tells the Orange Menace in the four-page letter which has been prepared but as yet remains undelivered, a source told Rueters.

Fauci says in his letter Trump’s “denial and inaction” — followed by a series of incompetent steps by his administration — have “caused tens of thousands of needless deaths from Covid-19.”

Fauci, 79, has led NIAID since 1984 and is credited with directing researchers in the development of effective treatments for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. He has served both Republican and Democratic administrations but has never been publicly at odds in the past with White House officials as he finds himself today.

In his letter, Fauci takes issue with Trump’s calling “totally unacceptable” his recommendation of keeping schools closed for the foreseeable future. Fauci cites mounting evidence of a potentially fatal infection related to Covid-19 now attacking hundreds of children globally as a compelling reason for keeping schools closed.

Trump’s promotion of an anti-malarial drug he has begun to take himself as a “game changer” in the search for a coronavirus vaccine — a solution not tested or proven to work by researchers — was especially problematic, Fauci wrote the president.

Compounding that was Trump’s suggestion during a daily coronavirus briefing last month that people infected with the virus might cure themselves by ingesting bleach. Trump said later he was being sarcastic, but Fauci wasn’t buying it: “How many deaths resulted from that,” Fauci wrote, “asked sarcastically or not. But we know it was not, don’t we?”

Fauci was sharply critical of the president’s message to supporters to agitate for an end of state lockdowns. “What about your…tweets, specifically that governors LIBERATE MICHIGAN” and other states. He complained about protestors bringing firearms to the organized events — including one man with a bazooka — and wearing no masks in a show of support for Trump.

Fauci has told associates he is not certain when he will submit his resignation, a source told Rueters, “but it could be soon, as soon as you-know-who tells another whopper or makes another bonehead move.”

Below is a copy of Fauci’s Resignation Letter In Waiting:

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