“I’d Pass A Kidney Stone If It Meant Getting Rid Of This Guy” — Poll Respondent

National polls show a definite weakening in support for President Trump among most Americans, but not much slippage in his “great wall” of base supporters, the 35% who really aren’t paying much attention. But after a tough week at the US House Impeachment Inquiry, can Trump still point to favorable numbers in certain categories near and dear to his fellow citizens?

November 19, 2019

By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, Co-Stars in Pilot Episode of “Laverne and Shirley”

“Democracy Dies in Darkness…So Support Our Advertiser”

WASHINGTON, DC (Rueters) — Following a brutal week of televised revelations about his shakedown of the leader of Ukraine, US President Donald Trump finds his base still holding but an unprecedented new poll shows he has fallen well behind Americans’ views toward everything from sex to root canals to spending the holidays in a Texas immigrant detention camp.

In an innovative and untried approach to rating the president’s popularity against stuff that really matters to average US citizens — rather than against the 15 or so Democratic presidential hopefuls — Rueters/Ipsos polling experts have spent the past week asking respondents how they would compare the Orange Menace against nearly 35 alternatives in the following broad categories: Sex, Recreational Drugs, Personal Health and Alternatives to Trump Rallies.

Some 5,000 respondents were questioned across the US last week — with emphasis on the first two primary states, Iowa and New Hampshire — as the House Impeachment Inquiry moved to live television coverage, according to Dan Mathis, project manager at Rueters/Ipsos. “This was gripping television. Nothing like it since the Clinton or Nixon (impeachment) hearings,” he said.

“We really wanted to measure the impact these hearings were having on Trump’s popularity across the board, and not just measured against old standbys such as former VP Joe Biden or Senators (Bernie) Sanders and (Elizabeth) Warren,” Mathis said.

“What we found was eye-opening. But we really can’t compare the results to anything earlier because no one has asked Americans how they would rate Obama or Kennedy, for instance, against using weed. Totally new look at our daily preferences. We can only hope this new methodology of measuring Americans’ likes and dislikes is picked up by other pollsters and used to inform the nation in the years and decades ahead,” Mathis told Rueters.

Among the key findings, he said, is Trump’s estimated base of 35% of registered voters hasn’t changed much since the US House of Representatives began its inquiry into possible impeachment of No. 45. “But Trump supporters do vastly prefer the missionary position over their attachment to the president. Also, they love weed. Those two points were pretty much the only breaks we saw in his level of support from this nationwide collection of low-info voters.”

Across the broad spectrum of daily American life, Mathis said, “Trump pretty much loses by multiples of his own ratings. For example, sex. Whether we’re asking about circumstances for sex (angry, drunk, etc.), or positions or, in the case of Iowans, partners, Trump is behind by 18 or 20 to one. With drugs, marijuana wins by nearly 20 to one. Even (with) cocaine he’s down nearly five to one.”

Following are key results from Rueters/Ipsos poll taken Nov 11-16, 2019:

TRUMP VERSUS SEX

TRUMP VERSUS RECREATIONAL DRUGS

TRUMP VERSUS PERSONAL HEALTH

TRUMP RALLY VERSUS BEING ANYPLACE ELSE

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“POLL OF POLES”?

The White House is still studying the Rueters/Ipsos polling results before commenting, aides told Rueters. But when asked Monday at the White House to remark on an MSNBC “Poll of Polls” showing him with his lowest approval ratings since birth, Trump told reporters, “I love the Poles. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to Warsaw this summer, but I was busy shaking down Ukraine. I’m surprised they don’t love me more.

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NOT the president of Poland

“I think their president is great, really great. He’s a really big dude. I call him the Big Lebowski. Funny guy, Lebowski.” Poland’s president since 2015 has been Andrzej Duda.

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