Existence of Secret Third Volume of Mueller Report Disclosed to Rueters; Contents Confirm Thinking-Public’s Suspicions About Private Grudges and Darkest Secrets of “Paranoid-in-Chief”
“Rueters, The News Service For Those Who Can Read”
April 21, 2019
By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, International News Dilettantes
WASHINGTON, DC (RUETERS) — Just when America was finished with its collective dose of Pepto-Bismol, having heard story after story about the world’s newest “shithole,” the White House, along comes news of a third, secret, volume of the repulsive but revealing Mueller Report.
Of course No. 45, the one who claimed a memory like a steel trap, couldn’t seem to recall much beyond his name and Stormy Daniels’s phone number when providing written answers to questions from Special Counsel Robert Mueller. But his staff could — and they had plenty to say to investigators, according to accounts in the as-yet-unreleased 300-page confidential document.
Rueters received a copy of the potentially explosive Volume III from an associate of a disgruntled former member of Mueller’s team of special prosecutors hired two years ago to examine allegations of Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and any crimes stemming from or related to Russian activities.
The first two volumes were released April 18 by Attorney General William Barr, generating intense public and congressional debate over its heavily redacted sections and Barr’s inexplicable, batshit pre-release press conference claim, echoing Trump’s rallying cry: “No collusion!” The president was just really frustrated and unhappy, he said. But, no collusion, Barr repeated about six times in his debut as the government-paid Trump defense attorney.
“The public really needs to get the entire story of what’s going on inside the White House,” the associate quoted the Mueller team member as saying. “I wish I could compare the place to Confederacy of Dunces,” the associate continued, “but it’s not even that sophisticated.”
REASONS TO WORRY, AMERICA; WE MEAN, REALLY WORRY
Following are a few of Mueller’s top conclusions about the 45th president — appearing here in the Special Counsel’s own words — contained in the salacious, scary and so-far unredacted Volume III:
Volume III, page 19:
C. President’s Mood Swings
- The President’s mood swings have been extensively documented during the course of the Special Counsel’s investigation. They range from “furious” to “out-of-his-fucking mind.”
- Top Trump staff are known to “run, duck and cover” when they hear early rumblings of a presidential temper tantrum, almost a daily occurrence.
- Staff reported to Special Counsel investigators they have learned during the past 27 months to generally ignore all of the president’s wishes, requests, ideas, orders, and wild-ass screams.
- The result, based on two years of investigations into this chaotic Administration, is that pretty much only really bad shit gets accomplished. E.g., immigrant children in cages, Muslim ban, promoting coal, etc., the kinds of things that staff themselves really want to see happen.
Volume III, page 52
F. President’s Ties to Mob Bosses
- Trump’s connections to the mob, both Italian and Russian, have been documented and speculated about since long before he ran for president — and were a source of concern for some in government following his ascendancy to the White House.
- The president has even imported gangster vernacular like “rat” and “slime ball” into the Oval Office. All the talk of loyalty oaths and “flipping” coming out of the West Wing have led many, including James Comey, the former F.B.I. director who helped bring down the mob, to conclude that the place is being run like the Ravenite Social Club, the infamous headquarters of late Mafia chieftain John “The Dapper Don” Gotti.
- Trump publicly praised his former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, for his loyalty to Trump and refusing to “flip” on the president to the Special Counsel’s team. On the other hand, Trump called his former personal attorney, Michael Cohen, a “rat” for cooperating with federal investigators and fingering Trump in the “hush money” payments to at least two women who claimed to have had affairs with a married Trump, Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal.
- Donald Trump once told Victoria Gotti, daughter of the late Mafia boss, that he and her father had spent time together. “I know that they knew each other,” Ms. Gotti said in an interview with Special Counsel investigators.
Volume III, page 85
A. President’s Intellectual Capacity
- Investigators have tracked the president’s poor academic achievements since his formative years at “The Montessori School for Total Losers” in Queens, NY. There appears to have been little advancement in his intellectual acuity since the 1960s.
- Claims by the president that he is a “stable genius” have been put to the test during the course of the investigation — as well as his time in the Oval Office. Based on staff reports to investigators and general observations of Trump’s remarkable dearth of knowledge, analytical skills and ability to put together a coherent sentence, there is no evidence to support his claims of genius. Far from it.
- The president has continued to resist anything that requires reading in combination with thought. He has steadfastly insisted on verbal intelligence briefings — when he feels like sitting for one — and hasn’t bothered reading anything of substance from any major cabinet departments since declaring the “Dawn of the Era of American Carnage” on his inauguration day, Jan. 20, 2017.
- His choices for head of the FAA (his one-time personal pilot), head of the Veterans Affairs department (his one-time personal physician), and head of Health and Human Services (a former brain surgeon who practiced on himself), all point to a wasteland between his right and left ears.
- If there is anything consistent to come from these and other disclosures within Volume III, it’s that Trump won’t bother reading any of this, either.