Exonerated? Not So Fucking Fast, Mr. President!

Upon Further Review, AG Barr Admits to Reading, Summarizing Wrong Publication.  Conspiracy, Obstruction, Money Laundering, Kompromat, etc Still “Very Much in Play!” Prosecutors Exclaim

March 29, 2019

By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, Investigative Correspondents

WASHINGTON DC (Rueters) – In what will go down in US history as one of the biggest bone-headed moves by a top government official, Attorney General William Barr admitted to his senior staff Friday morning he read and summarized for congressional leaders a publication that was not the 300+-page “Mueller Report.”

Instead, Rueters has learned, Barr told astonished Justice Department officials he read the recently published pro-Trump tome, “Trump’s Enemies,” wrongly thinking that was the title of the report by Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller which is based on a 22-month investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election and possible collusion with the president’s campaign.


Somehow, Attorney General William Barr got these two books confused and based his “principal conclusions” summary on the text of Trump’s former chief-of-staff’s presidential blowjob, “Trump’s Enemies.”  The actual report is pictured at right.

According to a source who attended the attorney general’s staff meeting, Barr, known to friends and co-workers for having a fondness for single-malt scotch – at all hours – said he had been imbibing this past weekend when he decided to start reviewing Mueller’s report, received last Friday evening.  Barr had promised a written summary of the report’s “principal conclusions” to the White House and congressional leaders by March 25th.

Barr looking confused  US Attorney General William Barr tries to remember how he confused a 400-page pro-Trump collection of “Deep State” bullshit for the long-awaited report by Special Counsel Robert S Mueller III. (Photo by Rueters)

Barr submitted his summary, as promised, quoting from what he thought was the report: “[T]he investigation did not establish that members of the Trump Campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities.”  Turns out, that was a sentence taken directly from the dust jacket of “Trump’s Enemies.”

Barr also noted the book that he summarized contained no conclusive proof of the president obstructing justice, so he pretty much decided on his own to absolve Trump of any wrongdoing, according to DOJ sources, a position he strongly advocated months before he was nominated to replace fired AG Jeff Sessions.

In fact, he told staffers, he thought the Mueller Report (in fact, “Trump’s Enemies”) was pretty clear on a couple of points:

“The assault on the 45th president began immediately following Donald J. Trump’s victory in the 2016 presidential election. It was then that Democrats concocted the absurd story of Russian spies and international plots as an excuse for Hillary’s humiliating defeat.” 

(Co-author David) “Bossie was witness to the moment the fake Russia investigation was enacted by James Comey, who legitimized the phony “Steele dossier” by presenting it to the new president-elect.”


Front page of infamous 35-page “Steele Dossier,” a Deep State Special according to Trump allies, outlining multiple ways in which Russians have leverage over Trump.  Not all claims in the document have been proven true, but none has been disproved, according to intelligence sources.  What does Mueller have to say, the public wonders.

Aware of his serious error, Barr told staffers he would take the weekend, and a handle of Glenmorangie, to pore over the real Mueller’s Report.  But, in a final observation, Barr  said he didn’t expect to see anything noteworthy or harmful to the president among the 300+ pages resulting from nearly two years of meticulous investigation:

nothing to see



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