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Angry senior races past Secret Service officers on north lawn of White House Thursday morning, Nov 13, after scaling security fence.  This latest intrusion into the  grounds of the heavily guarded mansion is most recent in a series of security lapses to embarrass agency.  (Rueters photo) 

By ANDREW SQUIBLEY

RUETERS

WASHINGTON, DC Thurs Nov 13, 2014 1:42pm EST

Finding weakness in White House defenses, a crowd of angry senior citizens scaled fences and blitzed their way through several Secret Service guard posts Thursday morning, within minutes surrounding the mansion and demanding to air grievances with President Obama about changes next year in Medicare.

An administration spokesman said Obama, in the Oval office at the time, heard the clattering of crutches and walkers as the estimated 1,000 elderly quickly moved closer to the White House but added the president was in no immediate danger from the unusually agitated group.  “We brought out several hundred lawn chairs and a few dozen porta-potties,” said one administration official.  “That helped calm them down.”

Obama emerged from his office into the Rose Garden to speak with the seniors about 30 minutes after the mass break-in, reporters were told.  After about an hour, the crowd dispersed.

CAUGHT NAPPING — AGAIN

While the unusual episode ended peacefully, questions once again surfaced about the plans and readiness of the Secret Service to protect the president’s residence.

A tourist on Pennsylvania Avenue, on the north side of the White House, told Rueters he noticed the crowd of elderly citizens gathering about 9 am near the fence surrounding the grounds.  “It wasn’t pretty, but clearly it was well planned.  These old ladies and guys stormed the fence like it was a cliff at Omaha Beach — only they were a lot slower.”

Leaders of the senior renegades told reporters they were angry over proposed 2015 cuts in Medicare Part B which primarily covers the costs of outpatient care.   “We needed the president to hear it directly from us, the people who depend on Medicare, that we can no longer afford reductions in our benefits,” said one of the group’s leaders.

This exclusive Rueters photo was taken at the World War II memorial in Washington just an hour before angry seniors launched a full-frontal assault on the White House grounds.

“How the hell did 1,000 old people get onto the (White House) grounds with no challenge from the Secret Service,” demanded one member of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform which has congressional oversight authority for the Secret Service.  “Just when we thought we saw the end of the screw-ups, we get this embarrassment.”

NOTHING LIKE KIBBLE AND A TEAR-JERKER ON TV

The first line of defense against intruders are the Uniformed Division’s highly trained Belgian malinois guard dogs, Jacquian and Jadeveon, named after their trainers’ favorite NFL linebackers.  But Secret Service investigators, looking into the assault on the White House, believe the dogs were in their quarters watching a movie, “Old Yeller,” instead of on patrol.

Investigators estimated the invasion occurred about the time Old Yeller was dying.  “No wonder the dogs never made it out (to stop the assault), who could tear themselves away from that emotional scene,” asked one of the trainers in the dogs’ defense.  “The thing is, these idiots (the dogs) have seen that movie and that scene dozens of times, but they can never remember how it ends.  They’re dogs,” he added.

  

In this candid shot of White House guard dogs taken Friday, which investigators uncovered, Jacquian (far left) and Jadeveon are pictured watching one of their favorites on Netflix, “Old Yeller.” 

ANOTHER DISTRACTION, ANOTHER SECURITY LAPSE

When the dogs fail to respond or need backup, the Uniformed Division’s emergency response team (ERT) is expected to act swiftly, with force if necessary, to stop an assault on the White House, according to a Secret Service source.  “This was a major failure,” the source said.  “But at least we figured out what happened.

“These guys (in the ERT) heard that prostitution was legal in Colombia.  So they took advantage of what they thought would be a quiet time Thursday morning to line up for a blow-job.  They’re not the brightest bulbs in the box.  They got Colombia confused with District of Columbia.  Dumbasses.”

White House emergency response team seen lining up for oral sex, confusing liberal prostitution laws of Colombia with District of Columbia.  (Rueters photo)

With no guard dogs and no armed backup, the White House had little to protect it from the wrath of the angry Medicare crowd, most of whom counted themselves World War II veterans, members of “The Greatest Generation.”

“Imagine what could have happened with the wrong guys getting inside,” one agency investigator told Rueters.  “I think we’ll have to retire the Belgian dogs and acquire a pack of Dachshunds to patrol the White House grounds.  Those little bastards can stop anything.”