September 12, 2021
By Andrew Squibley and Arthur Bushwhacker, Now In Non-Ethical Monotonous Relationship
“Democracy Dies in Darkness….And in ICUs Across the Country”
TALLAHASSEE, Fla (Rueters) — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, who told a recent news conference he avoided all science classes in high school, soon will be staring down the barrel of a recall effort led surprisingly not by Democrats or independents with college degrees and mortgages, a Rueters/Proud Boys national poll has found.
Rather, the families of Florida’s nearly 50,000 residents who have died from Covid-19 are spearheading the drive to remove from office the first-term Republican governor a year before his re-election bid, several hundred relatives of the deceased told pollsters.
“The dumb son-of-a-bitch said vaccines, masks and social distancing shouldn’t be mandated,” one family member of a deceased Covid-19 victim told Rueters investigative team of Squibley and Bushwhacker.
“He said these mandates were a violation of our personal liberties. These liberties aren’t much good to the dead. He has lost the confidence of the voting — and thinking — public and needs to go. Please sign this petition. We think we can boot him out by Christmas.”
DeSantis, while personally promoting vaccines, last week told reporters he didn’t think someone’s decision to skip having the shot had any effect on his or her neighbors.
“Then how the hell does he think the virus is spreading,” another angry family member said. “Of course anyone’s decision to skip the vaccine, to go without a mask or attend superspreaders is going to affect everyone around him.”
DeSantis is battling some of the state’s largest school districts, including Miami-Dade and Broward counties, over their decisions to ignore his order prohibiting mask mandates in public schools.
School officials in South Florida and elsewhere throughout the state have insisted repeatedly the risk of Covid-19 infections in children is too great to allow anyone in school to avoid wearing masks, proven to be one of the most effective deterrents to the spread of the potentially lethal coronavirus.
“Take a look at what’s happening to our kids down here,” a parent requesting to remain anonymous told Rueters. “They’re getting sick, thousands of them, and some are dying, needlessly. If they’re under 12, they can’t get the vaccine. Do we just let them get sick?
“Mandates save lives. I’m telling you, DeSantis doesn’t understand the science behind all of this. And he thinks a love of personal liberties — even if stacked against sickness and death — is going to win him another four years in Tallahassee. Or the White House in 2024? No fucking way,” the parent said.
“THAT’S A STORY WITH A BAD ENDING. RIGHT NOW, THAT’S OUR STORY.”
Another angry family member whose parents in South Florida died from the disease offered this analogy to Rueters: “Suppose you were in a wagon train on the Oregon Trail 150 years ago and the train came under attack. The best defense would be to form a circle. Can you imagine what would happen if almost half the wagons didn’t want to join the circle? Instead they wanted to exercise their ‘personal liberty’ and go it alone. That’s a story with a bad ending. Right now, that’s our story.”
DeSantis’s former supporters who are now his latest opponents said the recall against him was gaining steam as the rate of Florida’s Covid hospitalizations and deaths continued to hit new records, especially among children. “He should have taken biology, at least,” said the parent of a hospitalized third-grader.
DeSantis is facing the same early end to a potentially national political career as is California Gov. Gavin Newsom whose recall election is this Tuesday.
“It just shows the perilous nature of politics today in the United States,” a political consultant told Rueters. “It doesn’t matter what party you’re in. One bad decision — or, in the case of DeSantis, boneheaded adherence to bad policy in the face of a pandemic — can mean the end of the road for you.”
Democrat Newsom, the telegenic and tailored former lieutenant governor, was elected to the top job in 2018. He could be out of office in days should the recall, which is too close to call, go against him.
“Newsom was an idiot,” the consultant added. “He was happy to issue all these mandates to California residents about restricting their activities and interactions in the face of Covid.
“And what does he do? He goes to one of the priciest dry cleaners in Napa Valley, the French Laundromat, to get his suits done. Meanwhile, he’s telling everyone else to do their own laundry. Completely tone deaf. Totally without empathy. He deserves the boot.”
PEOPLE’S LIBERATION ARMY FACING THREAT OF DIVERSIFICATION; CHINA’S GOVERNMENT TAKES HARD LINE AGAINST “SISSIES”
BEIJING (Rueters) — China’s ruling Communist Party, publicly concerned about the long-term effectiveness of its nearly 3.5 million man People’s Liberation Army, has banned effeminate men on TV.
Leaders have called for a “national rejuvenation,” with tighter Communist Party control of business, education, culture and religion. Companies and the public are under increasing pressure to align with its vision for a more powerful China and healthier society.
Broadcasters must “resolutely put an end to sissy men and other abnormal esthetics,” the National Radio and TV Administration said, using an insulting slang term for effeminate men — “niang pao,” or literally, “girlie guns.”
That reflects official concern Chinese pop stars, influenced by the sleek, fashionable look of some South Korean and Japanese singers and actors, are failing to encourage China’s young men to be masculine enough.
“Can you imagine what would happen to the Middle Kingdom (China) if all we had for army recruits were these sissy men,” a high-ranking member of the National People’s Congress told Rueters. “We want them defending the Spratly Islands, not ‘clubbing’ on them.”
Broadcasters should avoid promoting “vulgar internet celebrities” and admiration of wealth and celebrity, the regulator said. Instead, programs should “vigorously promote excellent Chinese traditional culture, revolutionary culture and advanced socialist culture, emulating men like Jackie Chan and Ip Man.”
Broadcasters also should avoid performers who “violate public order” or have “lost morality,” the regulator said. Programs about the children of celebrities also are banned.
“Makes me pine for the days of the Cultural Revolution,” said one retired Politburo member. “At least Mao didn’t have to worry about dealing with sissies.”
AND IN OTHER NEWS…..
ATLANTA (Rueters) — Prescriptions of the anti-parasitic medication Ivermectin, used to treat river blindness and intestinal roundworms in farm and ranch animals, have spiked during the pandemic and especially this summer, jumping from an average of 3,600 weekly prescriptions in the year before the pandemic, to more than 88,000 in one week in August, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
AMERICANS WANT TO KNOW: HAS TEXAS BECOME THE LONE STAR STATE OF PARANOIA?
AUSTIN, Tex (Rueters) — People are still asking what happened to the once stalwart Rudy Giuliani, 20 years ago known as “America’s Mayor,” or the steadfast friend of John McCain, South Carolina’s Sen. Lindsey Graham. (Answer: Orange Menace). But the bigger question is what the hell is going on in Texas? Is it now a place where laws are made only by the paranoid, schizophrenic or intolerant fundamentalists (James Madison called them “Ecclesiastical Bodies”)?
Have a read:
—Gone are regulations for owning and carrying handguns (80 percent of which are in the hands of men), controls that once seemed reasonable and in the interest of public safety but are now condemned as somehow anti-Second Amendment and un-American.
—Roe v. Wade, a Texas landmark as symbolic as the Alamo, for nearly the past half-century defined a constitutional right to privacy and helped safeguard women’s health, is now all but eviscerated. Healthcare for women (who provide 100 percent of babies) is falling into the hands of faceless government officials and complete strangers who’ve nothing to do with any woman’s family choices. Equal protection under the law? Not if you’re a woman in Texas. (There’s another place, as well, where women’s rights are being attacked after 20 years of progress. Maybe we’ll look there next time.)
–And in case you’re a poor woman of color in Texas, good luck trying to replace the lawmakers who pass these inexplicable laws. Voting rights are being pulled back — and it’s not for the benefit of women and minorities in the once proud Lone Star State.